News - The Lunar Times

This Middle Aged White Man Has a Great Story About Being Stationed Overseas in Your Country

“Island boy was a nickname for me!”

By: Josh Ri’Esgo

News Grant Yang

SCOTUS Celebrates July 4th by Enacting the Purge

For the next 12 hours, all crimes will be legal, even overturning precedent!

By: Grant Yang

“HOW?” Says Failing White Student After Cheating off of You

Racial equality is realizing Asian kids and white kids are equally dumb

By: Josh Ri’Esgo

News John Hedrick

Democrats Ask Constituents To Vote Out Unplanned Baby

“I am devastated by the Supreme Court’s decision… but also I am in need of $15”

By: John Hedrick

Filipino Dad’s Solution to Depression Is to Just Pray

You know what’s cheaper than therapy? Making the sign of the cross.

By: Josh Ri’Esgo

News Julia Zhen

Tourism Curse? I Lost My Grandma Among All the Other 5’ 1” Grandmas Wearing Sun Hats and Umbrellas

‘She’s the one in the white floral hat. Oh. There’s 7 of them’

By: Julia Zhen

News Grant Yang

BREAKING: Fortune 500 Company ENDS Asian Hate in the Workplace By Only Hiring Whites

Nothing feels more safe than a workforce that has never feared for their own safety.

By: Grant Yang

News Julia Zhen

Mom With PhD in Pharmacology Incapable of Grasping the Concept of Two-Factor Authentication

Text me a code? Why do they want to text me?

By: Julia Zhen

NYPD Reassures Public: ‘Serial Subway Flasher Will Be Caught if He Jumps the Turnstile!’

It’s time to crackdown on what really matters – fare evasion

By: Josh Ri’Esgo

Celebrate AAPIH Month by Paying Your Asian Landlord in Cash

And those dollar bills better be crisp as hell