5 Reasons Why Labor Unions Would Be More Effective if They Operated Like K-Pop Stan Twitter
K-pop stans walked so labor unions could run.
February 4, 2021
By: Julia Zhen
Labor unions have negotiated some of the most critical legislation for American workers, such as the 5-day, 40-hour work week. In recent years, with the growth of power in many corporations, unions have been lackluster. However, K-pop stan Twitter, home to the notorious BTS fandom known as ARMY and BLACKPINK fandom known as BLINKS (and many more), have been responsible for some of the greatest internet takeovers of all time. Here’s 5 reasons why labor unions would be more effective if they were K-pop stan Twitter.
1. Labor unions are too focused on what the workers want. Stan Twitter is only considerate of their idols and are therefore the most selfless beings on this Earth. Think less about healthcare, increased wages, or working conditions; think more about “what can we do as a collective to improve the lives of the very gods that we admire? Labor unions need to pick a god and put them on a pedestal.
2. Labor unions are not efficient, unlike K-pop stan Twitter. Labor unions rely too much on the democratic process and getting unanimous support from their workers before making a decision. Stan twitter has strong convictions and inherently knows what is right. When they want something done, they communicate that in the form of a hashtag, which will easily start trending. No voting process or input from the collective required. Just hashtags.
3. Labor unions do not speak Korean. If they could speak Korean, then they could secretly go about plans so that the english speaking corporate executives would not know what they were plotting. K-pop twitter is fluent in korean, english, and much more. There is a lot to be gained by learning a second language.
4. Labor unions have too many adults. When there are too many adults involved, things become easily complicated due to the fussy and fickle nature of adults; they will cite issues like their “mortgage”, “long-term health condition”, or “student loan debt”. It’s quite pathetic. K-pop stan twitter is mostly just teenagers, so they have a lot of time on their hands to really not be afraid to get shit done. Additionally, teenagers are broke and they are completely content with that, so no financial issues arise in their collective.
5. Labor unions are too scared to take risks to better serve their people. Since K-pop stans are mostly minors, they also are super hormonal and aren’t afraid to get angry at someone for being annoying or wrong in order to get what they want. They also don’t have a fully developed frontal lobe which inherently helps them take big risks. Labor unions should really consider a way to reduce their frontal lobe development such as drinking alcohol at a pubescent age or getting a head injury during developmental years.
