Chinese Dad Utterly Unrecognizable on Relaxing Vacation to Cancún

It’s all fun and games until your dad starts having fun and playing games

December 20, 2020

Three days into their family Mexican getaway, sisters Jasmine and Jessica Chu worriedly reported that their father was exhibiting signs of a psychotic break by becoming uncharacteristically laid back and happy-go-lucky. “I’ve never seen him act like this before. It’s like he’s a completely different person,” Jasmine stated while nervously glancing at her dad, lounging blissfully on the poolside recliner. “This morning I caught him smiling. He’s never done that before, not for pictures and not even when Jessica was born.”

The Pennsylvanian patriarch Xinlai “Robert” Chu had allegedly been acting normal even up until the start of the vacation, driving stone-faced to the airport at 4:30 AM for their noon flight, while contributing an eerie silence and vaguely disapproving stares into the rearview mirror. Sitting at their gate at 6 AM, he spoke for the first and only time the entire morning. “We should have left earlier,” Mr. Chu reflected while staring wistfully at the empty tarmac.

“It all went downhill when we got to the resort,” Jessia explained, “we were running late for our gulf snorkeling trip and all Dad said was ‘c’est la vie’ as he took off his belt. We didn’t even know he spoke French.” Things quickly spiraled out of control. Mr. Chu discovered the piano room on his second day and launched into a forty-minute solo of classical Beethoven and 90s Chinese pop songs. “We have a piano at home that he has never touched,” Jasmine inserted during her father’s improvised key change.

The chaos culminated on the third night, when the Chu family sat down for their first drink together. “He started fondly talking about our childhoods like they were trauma-free,” Jessica remarked before her sister quickly added, “He asked about my love life, acknowledging for the first time that I have multiple facets.” Mr. Chu shortly became a loose cannon, insisting on buying his daughters another round. However, while leaving to grab the drinks, he got sidetracked and joined the crowd dancing to Mariachi music in the courtyard as if he was no longer carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Before being swept away, he looked back at his daughters one last time and imparted, “Pursue any career you want. Au revoir.” He was never seen again.