Aunties Trying to Figure Out How They’re Related Getting Oddly Competitive

Ladies, this is a Dollar General, could you please stop blocking the checkout?

December 19, 2022

By: Neel Bhakta

WICHITA, K.S. – Two aunties shopping at a local grocery store began a heated argument after attempting to figure out how they are related, concerned bystanders reported.

“I was just strolling around the local Dollar General, casually looking for obscure cooking ingredients like lemongrass and dried lily flowers, when I saw a Chinese woman like myself haggling down the price of instant ramen. I knew then I wouldn’t be satisfied until we figured out how we’re related while stalling the checkout line for hours,” said a curious Mei Huang. “We get to talking, first about the absurd prices in this dollar store, and then about where our family is from in China. She said she’s from Beijing and I know that can’t be right because I know all 21.54 million people in Beijing,” said Huang.

“Look, I don’t really have much in my life. I mean, this is like my Super Bowl, so I have to win. Eventually I bring up my cousin Ming and she says she knows him! Now I know she’s a lying weasel because nobody knows Ming, he’s a complete fucking loser.”

Upon realizing they were not related at all, the two aunties hatched a plan to marry their children.