REPORT: Everyone Saying Different Name During Happy Birthday Song

This was a distant, distant cousin

January 10, 2023

By: Neel Bhakta

ATLANTA – An Indian family celebrating a birthday was confused after every single family member said a different name when singing happy birthday.

“Yeah, we just finished dinner and were awkwardly waiting around for the cake to come out. Gotta be honest, this was a distant, distant cousin and I really only came for the food, so I had no clue what to say during the happy birthday song. I tried taking a peek at the cake for the name but I knew I couldn’t rely on it when it said ‘Happy Birthday Devious’,” said Arjun Desai. “I was totally out of options and was about to mumble my way through the song when I heard the entire room say something different for the name. I heard someone say bhai, someone else said mama. I’m pretty sure someone in the back even wished a happy birthday to Sandra Bullock.”

“I’m just happy no one heard me say my own name in all the commotion,” said a relieved Desai. 

After the party, the birthday boy was dismayed to find a pile of incorrectly addressed birthday cards with no money inside.