“I’m Glad That Colonizer Queen Is Dead,” Says Landlord Evicting Family of Three From Chinatown Home

Lording land is a job, okay?

September 13, 2022

Native Long Islander turned landlord Mike McConnell decided to celebrate the Queen’s death a little differently. Instead of taking to Twitter and posting memes more dead than Elizabeth herself, he’s raising the rent and displacing families.

“I’m glad that the Queen is dead,” McConnell said “I’m all about decolonization,” McConnell who recently bought properties in Chinatown plans to turn them into apartments with according to him will have “cute muffin shops”

“We’ve been here for years, and we hate muffins,” said local family man Kevin Jin.

When asked about the matter stated that he’s “never enforced anything colonial” as he posted another eviction notice.

“I’m not saying these properties should belong to landlords from Nassau county, they can do whatever. They just have to pay me more rent” McConnell prices himself on his business model which is “Kinda like the United Kingdom but with less women”