Uncle Trying to Be Cool and Hip Shows up to Family Gathering Wearing Juicy Couture Tracksuit
“Sometimes I want to feel like a hot bitch”
By: Neel Bhakta
NASHVILLE 一 This local family has been absolutely humiliated and traumatized after their uncle arrived to the family gathering wearing a sky blue Juicy Couture Tracksuit.
“My fucking eyes, please someone gouge out my eyes,” said Lucy Jeong. “When he walked into the house, everyone went silent. He did a little twirl to show off the tracksuit and my eyes darted straight toward his ass because the pants had the classic “Juicy” written there. Immediately after viscerally puking, two questions popped into my mind. How does he even know what Juicy Couture is and why did he think he could pull it off? I think I’m pretty attractive but even I couldn’t pull that look off. The confidence of an Asian uncle is unparalleled,” said a shivering Jeong.
Sung-Ho Jeong, the fashionable uncle, commented on the controversial outfit.
“Juicy Couture is a very high-end brand, last time I checked,” said Jeong. “Sure, I still peruse my Macy’s department store catalogs from 2007, but classics like JC don’t expire. My midriff is cold and exposed, the pants get wet when I step in a puddle, and the whole velour material has a weird feel, but sometimes I want to feel like a hot bitch,” said the 47 year-old man.
At press time, Jeong was found thrifting for jeans with rhinestone butterflies on the back pockets.
