Need Money to Buy Tickets for BTS in Vegas? Here’s How to Sell Your Organs

You’ll need access to the dark web (reddit or Facebook marketplace)

March 10, 2022

By: Julia Zhen

Contemplating selling your organs again so that you can afford BTS tickets? We’ve been there, and we got you covered. Here’s a few tips and tricks to get it done the quick and dirty way (so that you will have enough time to recover before you have to fly to Vegas).

Pick the organ – we recommend the kidney since that’s the most common one and most in demand. But we totally get it if you’re an ARMY that likes to think outside the box. Appendix probably isn’t of much value, but if you really wanted to get crazy, a pancreas, chunk of your liver, or a lung might just do the trick! We don’t recommend you do more than one, but, let’s face it, Jungkook totally would.
Pick the person to sell to – this is where it gets tough. You’ll have to go on the dark web (reddit or Facebook marketplace) to find someone who will want to purchase your organs. It’s not too hard, but you’ll want to be discreet about it so that you don’t get caught by the feds. Try these terms and code words. “Hello people of r/mykidneysarebad I have one very good SHOE that is in GREAT CONDITION. It’s a single shoe, Air Jordan’s, that is not necessarily new, but also not vintage. They have seen some parts of the world that perhaps you would like to go too!”
Retrieve the organ from your internal cavity – this can be tricky. Where are you going to find a doctor to do this surgery in such short notice? The great thing about America is that you can pretty much get healthcare anywhere if you just go into the emergency room screaming about some kind of ailment that you have. Then they HAVE to give you the surgery, and then you can just pay for it later. Plenty of Americans spend the rest of their lives paying for it, so it’s, like, fine. Make sure you bring your own cooler filled with ice! They’re stingy about that for some reason.
Mail it to the recipient – there’s videos on Youtube on how to use dry ice and styrofoam to transport something that needs to be temperature controlled. We can’t tell you everything.
Receive the payment – if you haven’t done so already, get a deposit first from the recipient! Use Paypal to protect your purchase.