Why I Will Never Speak Mandarin Again Because the Chinese Server Replied in English

‘A whole new level of shame’

By: Julia Zhen

Just like a whole lot of other American born Asians, I am trying my best when it comes to speaking my native language. I try to practice Chinese when talking to my family, but I can’t help that I get nervous when I speak it to a stranger. 

Last week I was ordering carry out in Chinatown, and I wasn’t asking for anything crazy. Just some dumplings and an appetizer. I asked for two orders of dumplings in Mandarin, and the lady immediately responded “chicken or veggie” in English and then she laughed at me. And for the remainder of the conversation, she was giggling when I ordered the spring rolls, and then shouted to her coworkers in the back in Mandarin that I was “another random ABC who sounds even worse than Awkwafina in The Farewell.” Her being rude felt oddly authentic.

So as I’m sitting there waiting in shame for my food, a bunch of the other workers kept peering from the back to take a look at this “wannabe Chinese”, which is what they were also calling me in Mandarin. I did hear some of them snickering and say in Chinese, “Do you think she can understand us?” And the other person responded “Yeah probably, but I don’t care. She already paid.” 

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so humiliated in my life. I texted my mom about it, and she sent me a voice memo of her laughing then she muttered “I don’t know who you were trying to fool.”