Wordle Replaces NYT Crossword for ‘First Thing I Do in the Morning to Procrastinate Work’
More looking-at-phone-on-toilet activities
January 18, 2021
By: Julia Zhen
Wordle, the online word-guessing puzzle game that took the internet by storm last week, is giving the New York Times Daily Mini Crossword a run for its money. The NYT daily crossword used to have a monopolized chokehold on many Americans across the country, especially when it comes to the first thing they do in the morning after logging onto work and throwing on NYT’s The Daily. But now, this UK word-guessing game is filling up that space.
“I used to dilly dally in the morning in all sorts of ways. Having coffee, pooping, playing the NYT crossword, having coffee again, and pooping again. I usually had no issues wasting the first hour of work doing this. But now that I’ve started playing Wordle, it’s completely reinvigorated by my ability to waste time at work,” says remote business analyst Shelly Chen.
A managing director at Morgan Stanley, Heidi Hu, weighed in on the latest phone distraction.
“We’ve been doing serious research and analysis of market trends and data to learn what our workers are doing to waste at least an hour’s worth of productivity each morning. Our results have yielded that it is mostly involved with drinking coffee and defecating, but the amount of time spent trying to solve NYT crosswords and Wordle dailies has a huge impact,” stated Hu.
“We’re also getting an influx of non-work related internet searches on the network that are leading our workers to potentially harmful sites. Their searches include ‘5-letter words that end with ‘EY’ ‘AY’ ‘ST’’ and also ‘is SHIRE a word?’ Our associates seem to have a very limited vocabulary,” Hu confided.
While there are many staples in rotation for commonly done activities to procrastinate work in the morning, we hope that Wordle and the NYT crossword have a place in your rotation. For those still working at home, maybe add in a few useful actions too, like emptying the dishwasher so that you’re not taking out dishes one by one for every meal for the rest of the day. Or maybe eating enough fiber and drinking enough water so that you can spend a normal amount of time on the toilet. If you cannot commit to that, then at the very least, get better at Wordle or the crosswords. Your hemorrhoid-free anus will thank you.
