Man Trying to Dig Hole All the Way to China Disappointed to End up in Fort Lauderdale

‘I had my passport and visa and everything’

December 29, 2021

By: Julia Zhen

44 year-old Kevin Ma successfully achieved his lifelong goal of digging a hole through the Earth to China, or so he thought. 

“I don’t know how my calculations were this off that I ended up in Fort Lauderdale. I checked it over again and again, and I was supposed to end up in the city of Guang Zhou. And yet, here I am, in the armpit of America, Fort Lauderdale,” groaned Ma. 

The preposterous attempt was something that many of Ma’s friends were hoping he would achieve. 

“Kevin is the smartest guy I’ve ever known in my whole freaking life,” boasted Luke Mikklesen. “I remember in middle school and high school, whenever we had to read a book in English class, Kevin always knew where to read up on the summaries online so that we wouldn’t actually have to read the book. And also he’s like… really good at Sudoku…” explained Mikklesen. 

Expert digger of holes, Dr. Henry Jung (PhD, MBA, HGTV) knew that Kevin’s lack of technical training and calculus expertise was going to come back to bite him in the ass. 

“Look, this guy really needs to leave the hole digging to other countries in the world up to the experts. This type of stuff is no joke and is not something that you can just search up on Youtube to figure out. There’s some serious danger involved too. He could’ve ended up in Ocean City, New Jersey. Do you know how much of a disaster that would’ve been? Just the idea of it makes me shudder,” said Dr. Jung. 

While Ma was left to his own devices in Ft. Lauderdale, he was left with no choice but to go back to the drawing board. However, he was tired of the digging and ready for a better challenge. This time, he was setting out to use all that soil to build a dirt mound to the Moon.