How to Get People to Wear Masks On the Subway By Telling Them They’re Ugly

Spreading illnesses can cost lives, but it will cost you zero dollars to hide your ugly ass face

November 30, 2021

By: Julia Zhen

Not everyone is born beautiful. Those who aren’t grow up to fend for themselves by overcompensating in their morals and personalities. But, those that maybe were born cute, and maybe are now ugly now thanks to the grandiose concept of aging, should know that there are ways in our modern society you can fend against your lackluster looks. The first being sunscreen and the second being just covering that shit up with a mask. 

I’m also a big proponent of telling young women that they do not need to be so polite all the time. If someone is increasingly making you feel uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to say something and defend yourself. That’s why I propose that we all start telling people who are not wearing a mask on the subway that they need to cover their ugly asses up with a mask. Covering half your face will leave a lot to mystery, and that is way sexier than whatever else is going on underneath!