Gaslighting Boyfriend Insists He Just Washed His Hands After Peeing

What color was the soap?

October 24, 2021

By: Julia Zhen

Lying, liar pants Brandon Lee once again tried to tell his girlfriend that he seriously washed his hands after pissing this time. 

“I went to the bathroom to pee and I know most guys after they pee will just not wash their hands and walk out, but I swear, I washed my hands!” declared Lee. 

Lisa Jeon knew exactly how all men are. So she put him to the test. 

“What color was the soap?” she asked.

“Uhh, like a light green color… It smelled like tropical coconut,” he explained.

Immediately the lie was evident. Lisa knew that an Outback Steakhouse would never invest in having a soap that smells anything better than a generic, wholesale soap. 

“Fucking nasty liar,” she huffed under her breath. 

Dr. Paul Srithas, expert in male bathroom behavioral studies, weighed in on the phenomenon. 

“Men do not perceive their penises as being dirty. So after we pee, we’ve only just held our penises, so our hands are still clean. Just as clean as they were before we peed. It’s really that simple, and I stand by that.” 

At press time, Lisa Jeon was seen squirting a quarter’s size worth of hand sanitizer in Brandon’s hands. He was seen barely rubbing it in, and then flicking and shaking it off his hands onto the sidewalk.