‘One’s for My Girlfriend’ Says Lone Man to Cashier Using BOGO Bubble Tea Deal

‘She’s standing just outside the window’s frame so you can’t see here’

November 1, 2021

By: Ian Yamamoto

TORONTO — After using a buy one get one bubble tea coupon, Jason Wan reportedly told his bubble tea server that the second tea was for his girlfriend, despite the fact that no one else entered the store with him or appeared to be waiting for him.

“I ordered bubble tea for my girlfriend just the way she likes it,” said Wan. “I happened to get two of the same drink because she has the exact same tastes as me, which is part of the reason we get along so well. She’s also very environmentally conscious, and hates it when I get plastic bags, so that’s why I’m carrying both of the teas in my hands.”

Bubble tea server Penelope Chin said she’s heard about many loving, but absent girlfriends.

“I’ve heard them all: ‘she’s at the beauty salon, she’s at home cooking, she’s at home cleaning, she’s at home weaving, she’s on her period, she’s pregnant, she’s getting fitted for a wedding dress, she’s getting bubble tea.’ The saddest was when a guy told me his girlfriend was outside but she was shy, so she was standing just outside the window’s frame so we wouldn’t stare at her.”

CoCo Fresh Tea & Juice founder Tommy Hung is disturbed by these reports.

“Our BOGO deals are sacred. They’re for happy, smiling couples who are holding hands and debating what to order for five minutes as they point at menu items and ask ‘how about this one?’ They are for Asian men and women or Asian women and their White boyfriends. The idea that a single man would go out in public and buy two bubble teas for himself upsets me. It’s too many bubbles for one person. It’s too much slurping and chewing.” 

At press time, Wan was last seen chatting up his bubble tea server, telling her his girlfriend was cool with him seeing other women.