Haunted Doll on Mantle Wants to Be Bioengineer When She Grows Up

Go to Yale and everything

October 31, 2021

By: Andal Paul

NEWCASTLE, MA – Late Friday evening the Jamiesons, a white family of four, reported hearing some strange – and inspiring – muttering from their collectable vintage Annabeth doll. 

It was around dinnertime, so the family had gathered around the dining room table to say grace and then ‘pig into’ a nice pork roast and mash potatoes. Dr. Jamieson, the matriarch and OBGYN of the family asked if anyone wanted to share a ‘Rose’ and ‘Thorn’ of the day.

“I think it’s very critical to establish a baseline communication of highs and lows within a family. Everyone is expected to participate.” Dr. Jamieson said. “I just didn’t realize, when I said Everyone, Annabeth heard me. Sh-sh-she, sorry,” The doctor shook her head lightly, clearly shaken. “She just wanted to participate.”

Their oldest daughter, Carly, usually went first. “The conversation started out normally,” Insisted Carly. 

“My Rose was about my gymnastic tournament going well, and my thorn was about my car breaking down. Right when I was about to pass the proverbial torch to my younger brother Jason, we heard someone clearing their throat in the other room.” Carly paused, shivering. “My dad went to investigate after we heard it again. It sounds crazy, but it was Annabeth. She said she should be able to go next, because she was made in 2007 and my brother was born in 2009. My dad fainted, but she plowed on. H-her rose was that she’s ambitious, and wants to be a scientist when she grows up. Go to Yale and everything. Her thorn was that she’s a doll.” Carly vomited, “She was so self aware.”

Annabeth reached out for a comment this morning. “Stupid fucking bitch family never thinks about my feelings.” Annabeth said feverishly, her tiny doll eyes twitching. “It’s not like I want to haunt for the rest of my life. I didn’t get to choose this career. But white people don’t think about that, do they?”