Whoops! White Guy Drops Hot Dog in Panko and Now He’s Korean

You are what you eat.

By: Grant Yang

September 16, 2021

24-year-old Ryan Ryans was just innocently grilling hot dogs at his old college roommate’s summer barbecue when his life changed forever. The unsuspecting Delaware native had just picked up his third hot dog from the grill when his fiancée Marilyn bumped into him while carrying the supplies for her world-famous medium-rare fried chicken. As if in slow motion, the weiner slipped out of his tongs, ricocheted off his “Kiss Me I’m Italian” apron, and landed in Marilyn’s bowl of unseasoned Panko.

When Ryan opened his mouth to say “Oops, sorry babe,” all that came out was a weak “Annyeong.” Looking down, he noticed that his Vineyard Vines shirt had transformed into a baggy button-down and stylish trench coat. Confused, Ryan pulled out his iPhone 12 for the camera but couldn’t navigate it since all the words had transformed into Hangul. After pressing some random buttons, he opened the front camera to see that he had completely changed into an attractive Korean man with a pink bowl cut.

“Babe, what happened to you?” Marilyn asked frantically but Ryan Park (née Ryans) could only respond in fluent Korean, a language she thought only existed in anime. She dropped her bowl of Panko, now containing a perfectly fried Korean corn dog that somehow got drizzled with sriracha mayo. She snatched the phone out of his hand to try calling 911, but got intercepted with an incoming call before she could dial.

“Hello, this is Oli London,” said the voice on the other end, “What’s your secret?”