BREAKING: Mother Packs Away Ethnic Blanket Officially Marking the Start of Spring
That’s right, moms everywhere are putting away the thick fleece, faux-fur like blankets – symbolizing the actual start of spring.
April 15, 2021
By: Ronuk Johal
EDISON, NJ – With the spring season in full swing, folks have come out of their homes and are enjoying the longer daylight hours and dealing with the annual allergies. However, in most brown households, the beginning of spring had just been marked with the packing away of the ethnic blankets.
That’s right, moms everywhere are putting away the thick fleece, faux-fur like blankets – symbolizing the actual start of spring. For our white readers, it’s like Groundhog Day.
“It was much too cold last week.” Says Devi Agarwal, where local temperatures touted a mild 84 degrees. “But now I feel as it’s starting to warm up, we can use lighter sheets.”
These blankets not only keep the person warm in the winter months but have a special ability to put them in a serious state of slumber.
Arjun Agarwal says he will miss the hibernation-like sleep. “Once, I went down for a nap with one of these bad boys and was legally declared dead for 7 minutes! It wasn’t until my mom ripped the blanket off that I was revived!”
Clearly, these blankets are not just an item but a way of life in most ethnic people’s houses. They have an innate ability to make the most uncomfortable areas cozy.
Devi adds, “I think it’s crazy! White people will buy Casper, Purple, and even memory foam with all these added features for great sleep when really they only need to go to Shankar’s Blanket Emporium on 75th in Jackson Heights! You will never turn the heat on again. Of course, nothing will beat the ethnic blanket passed down from your great-grandmother from the motherland, but naturally not all of us can afford the oversized baggage on international flights.”
Shankar at Blanket Emporium boasts that their bestsellers are Giant Red Rose and Black and White Tigers, but he might be considering a pivot in product selection for the summer. He has considered adding red, white, and blue products to cater to a white demographic.
“But you know, I heard other Asian cultures sleep on sleek bamboo sheets to stay cool at night. How does ‘Shankar’s Blanket Emporium and Bamboo Sheets’ sound?”
As the warm weather sets in, marking the end of these magnificent blankets, it’s not all tears as we await their return in the Fall. “I will miss them though. My girlfriend dates me just to sleep in my bed for this blanket! She says she wants to take a break for now, but I think she’ll be back, ” insisted a hopeful Arjun.
