13 Signs that Your Local Chinese Restaurant is Authentic

At a bare minimum, the Chinese to white ratio should be better than Panda Express. 

May 24, 2021

By: Julia Zhen

Here to authenticate is my Chinese grandmother. 

1. The ratio of Chinese people to white people is at least 4:1.
2. There are also Korean customers.
3. The golden greeting cat (Maneki-neko) is on the host stand (paw is broken, no longer waving, simply saluting)
4. Lazy susan on a four seater
5. Bathroom says out of order but it still works
6. Manager knows your dad for some reason who will later on try to send a special dish on the house and your parents will say something like ‘we can’t eat this much!!!!!’ 
7. A lot of mahogany 
8. The food is fantastic but just a little different each time, for better or worse.
9. There’s a cloth curtain to the kitchen instead of a door. Beaded curtains or industrial plastic strip curtains are also acceptable. 
10. Child is doing their homework at the host stand; will also appear at the table to refill tea pot. 
11. If going to the restaurant between the hours of 2-4pm and 8-10pm, there are workers sitting in a corner all not talking to each other but instead all looking at their phones very meticulously. Some may whisper gently into the phone. 
12. Man with patchy, gray beard is outside smoking a cigarette, reminiscing. 
13. Cash or Amex only. Of course there’s no ATM.