I’m Not Emo, I Just Have Black Hair and a Painful Asian Upbringing

Just an ounce of affection could’ve gone a long way 

By: Ian Yamamoto

December 22, 2021

I am sick of people assuming that I’m emo just because I’m sad and have black hair. This is my natural hair color and I’m sad because my parents never showed me affection growing up. I am not emo, I am just Asian.

My black bangs are just the front part of a bowl cut that my parents gave me to save money on haircuts. The reason my black bangs cover my eyes isn’t because I like listening to Fallout Boy, it’s because my parents make me grow my hair out during the winter so my head keeps warm. Do you think I want hair obscuring my vision? No, my Asian eyesight is poor enough already. My hair is not emo, I am just Asian.

The jeans I’m wearing are not skinny jeans. They are thin jeans. My parents bought my thin jeans from a garment store in Chinatown because they are cheap and this is the only sizing they had. Chinese jeans are naturally thin because of our smaller frames. My black high top leather shoes are not emo either. My cheap Asian parents say I only need one pair of shoes for all occasions, so they got me a pair of knock off Doctah Martins from a Chinese mall. My clothes are not emo, I am just Asian.

I am not quiet and sullen because of a strange subculture affiliation. I am quiet because my parents discourage me from making loud noises and calling attention to myself. My parents don’t want me to stand out (that would be obnoxious and rude); they want me to be quiet and good. Also, I am not sullen because being sullen is cool. I’m sullen because my parents are serious, humorless people who think there is dignity in being serious and humourless. I am not a moody emo, I am just Asian.

In short, I am not fucking emo. I am goth however.