Indian Mother Celebrates 30 Years of Unhappy Arranged Marriage by Choosing a Husband for Her Daughter

“She might feel like she’s trapped in a flesh prison but the wedding will be beautiful!”

May 2, 2021

Laxmi Kapoor has spent the last 30 years arguing with her husband Ram. Feeling sexually oppressed and having her dreams denied are only a few outcomes of India’s centuries-old culture of arranged marriage. For those that are unaware, an arranged married is a marriage orchestrated by the parents. Now, Laxmi is eagerly wanting to pass on her suffering and oppression by bringing those family traditions to her daughter, 24-year-old Pooja Kapoor, a recent graduate of UC Davis.

Sure, Pooja has offers from various prestigious management consulting firms in California, but her mother knows what’s best. That’s why Pooja is lucky enough to get married first and put her whole career on hold.

“I already have three men in mind! They are all located in India, but I’ve been assured that they are willing to travel to California at a moment’s notice! Needless to say, Pooja is very, very excited for the whole process!” shouted Laxmi. Faint yelling and pounding on the door were seemingly coming from Pooja’s room.

“I’m not too concerned about the husband’s character. As long as he has a good job and income, it will be fine,” Laxmi trailed off. “Sure, she might feel stunted socially as a mother or maybe feel like she’s trapped in a flesh prison, but the wedding will be beautiful!”

Pooja’s brother, Mohan, is 28 and still living at home.

“He’s destined for greatness if you ask me,” declared Laxmi. “He’s going to pursue a career in medicine. We’re very proud of him.”

Mohan has yet to attend medical school. He also has not finished high school. Records from Mohan indicate that he has completed an online course in TikTok Content Creation at the University of School, citing it as a ‘prerequisite for medical school.’

Mohan then slid a note, “I think Pooja should pursue her career. Please do not tell my mom I said this. If I say anything further she’ll kick me out and make me actually contribute to society. Rip up and burn when finished reading.”

Despite multiple job offers, Laxmi insisted that Pooja put those on pause while she gets married.

“My mom has always been a control freak, but I’ve got a plan,” whispered Pooja. “I’ve seen The Big Sick. All I have to do is date a white guy. I’ve already narrowed it down to two white actors off Craigslist. I think I’m gonna go with the guy that just had a recurring role on NCIS.”