Cleveland Man Successfully Identifies English Words in BTS Song

“Jimin probably thinks dynamite means kimchi”

April 8, 2021

By: Grant Yang

Against all odds, Cleveland native Edward “jiminluvr79” Mitchell reportedly identified English words in a song by Korean boy band BTS. The 42-year-old first became suspicious when the song came on over the loudspeakers at Bass Pro Shops. “It was difficult to make out the English words with their heavy Asian accents,” Mitchell mused, “but I swore I heard ‘light it up like dynamite’ between all the Korean lyrics.”

This discovery has brought Mitchell a newfound appreciation of BTS, of which he has been a long-time fan. “They’re so cute when they speak English, they don’t even know what they’re saying!” he noted giddily, “Jimin probably thinks dynamite means kimchi, he’s so adorbz!” When asked about BTS’s other songs, Mitchell perked up, stating, “I’ve loved BTS ever since they came out with ‘Boy With Luv.’ You probably haven’t heard of it, it’s a traditional Korean folk song. Since then, their English has gotten so good! They sound so articulate even if they can’t fathom that the sounds that are coming out of their mouths actually mean something in another language.”

Fans of BTS know that the members recently got their compulsory military service postponed. “When I found out, I was ecstatic,” said Mitchell, “but I still think it’s really cool they’re gonna serve. I would love to bring them to America and show them how to shoot guns, since their military is probably more used to using katanas. It would be so exciting for them to leave their small Korean village and experience the Western world for the first time.”

At his own suggestion, Mitchell got instantly thrilled. “If I got to hang out with BTS, that would be so annyeong!” he uttered smugly, “that’s a greeting in Korean, you know.” He stood up and started shooing us out of his 5th floor apartment plastered with Bangtan Boys posters. “I have to play ‘Dynamite’ now to practice my Korean,” he exclaimed. “I’ve got to be able to communicate with them in case they come.”