Millions of Americans Crazy Enough to Believe Gaslighting is Real

“It’s physically impossible to make you think you’re insane. You’re insane for thinking that!”

April 28, 2021

By: Grant Yang

A recent nationwide study on mental health revealed an alarming and disturbing statistic about the country: over 30% of Americans believe that gaslighting is a legitimate issue despite the practice being completely fictional and all in their heads. The study reports that even though millions of Americans are falling victim to this misconception, “the act of gaslighting, which the deluded believe to be a form of psychological manipulation, has never been observed in real life by scientists and is merely an urban legend that has been misconstrued and disseminated upon the gullible like a conspiracy cult.”

In the first interview of the study, 29-year-old Alison Chiang suspects that her husband of 5 years Jeffrey Wu is gaslighting her about his infidelity. “Whenever I point out the random earring on the bed or the panties in his pocket that aren’t mine, he tells me I’m being over dramatic and imagining things,” Chiang reported, “I can’t believe he’s gaslighting me when I can see it with my own eyes!” Calming down his hysterical wife while wiping the lipstick stains from his collar, Wu countered, “There you go with your crazy ‘gaslighting’ theories again. You’re seeing patterns in my behavior that don’t exist! It’s physically impossible for me to make you think you’re insane. You’re insane for thinking that! You’re probably cheating on me and you’re just projecting.” In this scenario, what Chiang mistook to be her boyfriend’s psychological manipulation is likely just guilt over her own probable infidelity, a common mistake in paranoid lunatics.

In another case study, high school senior Landon Pak claims that his mother is gaslighting him about his childhood. “Every time I try to bring up the fact that my mom traumatized me with piano lessons and beat me until I practiced for 2 hours every day, she gaslights me by claiming that it never happened and that she remembers my childhood better than me.” Mrs. Pak then offered her side of the story, “The fact that my son thinks that gaslighting is real shows that his mental faculties are slipping. As I’ve told him time and time again, he’s predisposed to early-onset dementia. It’s genetic. He never even took a single piano lesson.”

“Wouldn’t that mean you also have dementia?” Landon asked derangedly, “and I literally have videos of me playing!”

“This is so sad to watch my son deteriorating. We don’t even own a piano,” Mrs. Pak said, sitting down at the piano.

Case studies like these reveal the horrifying state that the nation’s mental health is in. We will be collecting donations for these unhinged, psychotic individuals. You’d have to be crazy to read this and not donate.