8 Things I Learned in Chinese School Which Were the Only Things I Learned in Chinese School

Look, Mandarin is a very difficult language 

April 7, 2021

By: Julia Zhen

1. You can get away with coming into class late if your parents are in the PTA or are board members. 
2. It’s super easy to cheat if you write some of the Chinese words on your eraser in pen 
3. I learned self defense in my head after having to wait outside the school for my parents to come pick me up. They were always really late, and it was dark outside, and I was scared. 
4. The 7th grade Chinese teacher was the student council president’s mom, and she is super fucking annoying (the daughter and the mom). 
5. You can get through at least 500 levels of candy crush in just a few classes. Do not hoard your power ups. You will get more every week. 
6. If you get carsick on the way to class, there are a couple of benches next to the classroom where you can take a nap to sleep off the nausea. 
7. The best and most loyal martial arts teacher is a 5’ 7’’ Black man. I have never seen a better disciplined group of Chinese boys. 
8. There is a vending machine in the basement closest to the emergency exit where you can get two packs of Twizzlers when you pay in quarters and hit G9
9. One time I definitely spread swine flu in 7th grade. I was coughing a bunch and then I went home and had a really bad fever.
10. These are all the Chinese words I know: 你好 (hello); 我是 (I am); 平果 (apple); 水 (water); 人 (person/people); 火 (fire); 妈妈 (mama); 奶奶 (grandma)

This is a working list; I’m just getting my memory back.