Sultry! Top 5 Sexy Summer Trends and They All Require Vasectomies

Being temporarily and reversibly infertile is sooo sexy <3

June 30, 2022

By: Andal Paul

With hot, muggy weather returning and school on break, we know you know summer is back in full bloom. It’s time to flock to the pool and nurse an ice cold Lager with the boys, share a few locker room-esque jokes and sexualize your sister. Excited? Same. The only thing that would make the summer sexier? Being temporarily and reversibly infertile <3

So keep scrolling for some fun summer activities you’ll want to do all summer long, plus the tools you’ll need to enjoy them to the max. 

1. White Water Rafting

It’s too hot to stay dry this Summer, with global warming projecting irreversible damage to the ozone layer by 2030! So get wet and stay wet by getting the group chat together for a hands-on adventurous endeavor. 

Reminder! Rafting companies usually require a waiver to protect the company from liability. You know what else requires a waiver? The doctor’s office. AND that’s where you can get a vasectomy.

2. Amusement Park

Spend a Saturday at six flags this summer! What other location has food, drinks, and thrills at every corner. Think about how fun it will be to ride rollercoasters with friends and cool off in the water park after hours of laughs and gaffs. 

Ok yeah, big fun parks are usually a bit dirty, but what better way to sanitize the next day by getting a minorly invasive procedure. Did I say that? Haha 

3. Escape Room

Come cool off in an over air-conditioned industrial building and solve mysteries with your favorite friend group! Discovered who murdered your wife, fight off aliens, or persuade the evil legislatures from taking a women’s right to choose – the possibilities are endless! Great post-vasectomy-procedure activity. Not too physical. 

4. Jubilee Middle Ground

Take your most politically-complicit friends to the Jubilee production office! When they ask whether abortion should be legal or not, you can calmly and proudly say that abortions should always be a woman’s choice, or rather, always be up to any individual with the ability to bare a child. This is the same concept as you making the choice to get a vasectomy to become a true ally! 

When your guy friends try to laugh it off, you can own your shit, slowly conditioning them to see women as anything other than objects. Accountability is sexy!

5. The doctor’s office

I can’t think of a better way to start Summer than to get a noninvasive, easily reversible procedure with little to no side effects to support the woman in your life. Show her she no longer has to endure the extremely negative health effects to her body and mind due to the birth control pills she’s been taking since the age of 13. HAGS!!