Way to Go Dems! New Stimulus Relief Bill Is in Fact a Bill

March 8, 2021

By: Andal Paul

“I’m sure something will happen from it. I am glad the government is doing.” 

Washington, DC – Congress passed the stimulus relief bill Saturday after a drawn out debate between Democrats and Republicans in both the House of Representatives and the Senate. The result? A bill. 

“Yeah it’s a bill,” said Democratic majority leader Chuck Schumer on his way out to grab a bagel Saturday afternoon. “It’s shorter than others, longer than most. Sometimes that happens. It’s also on paper.”

“We read it aloud. Some listened, some heard, some did not. We talked about it. We voted on it. All very good things accomplished if you ask me,” Schumer went on. 

“It will do some things for some Americans, and it will not, all at the same time. The mainstream news will be catching wind of it. I’m certain of that.” 

Average American citizen Dorothy Mason weighed in on the new bill, “I’m sure something will happen from it. I am glad the government is doing.” 

This is just another day for many of the lawmakers on the hill. Somedays bills get passed, some days they don’t. No one, regardless of race, ethnicity, or creed, can argue that this isn’t not one of those times. 

“Do I love it? No,” Local leftist and staunch activist Mary Jane said to The Lunar Times during a protest outside the White House Saturday night. “But can I ignore its symbolism? I’m looking at a piece of history.”