Biden Proposes to Replace Supreme Court with Cast of Hamilton
He’s not going to miss his shot
January 27, 2021
By: Victor Tran
Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer is set to announce his retirement, allowing President Joe Biden to appoint a successor.
Biden pledged to appoint the first black woman to the Supreme Court during his presidential campaign. But like so many times before, he’s now opting out for a far more disappointing solution.
He’s replacing the entire Supreme Court with the cast of Hamilton.
“I think it’s a wonderful idea!” endorsed Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. “Everyone knows I love performative politics!”
Experts say it’s an attempt to energize loyal Democrats – boring neoliberals who aren’t yet annoyed by Lin Manuel Miranda.
Critics of Joe Biden say his decision is “outdated” and “out-of-touch.” Critics of Hamilton say, “Lin Manuel Miranda talks weird.”
There are questions on whether a president is even allowed to do this. Can Biden appoint a musical cast to the Supreme Court?
“Of course, I can!” answers the self-named Uncle-in-Chief. “What else am I going to waste my executive power on? Forgiving student loans?”
“Come on, man”, Biden said as he put on his Ray-Ban aviator sunglasses. Sunglasses that, in some way, represent Biden and Hamilton themselves. Cool in 2015, but irritating now.
