Top 5 Local Asian Restaurants That Still Aren’t as Good as Upholding Roe v. Wade
Planned Parenthood should have 5 Michelin stars because legally getting a safe abortion is the best taste in the world
By: Julia Zhen
December 13, 2021
2021 has been an eventful year, and we hope that you’ve been enjoying that last solace we have left to enjoy in this world, which is food, specifically Asian food. Check out this list of top 5 local restaurants that definitely aren’t as good as upholding Roe V. Wade!
#5 – PF Changs
This is a classic to nab our white folk readers. Yes we all know PF Changs is a sad excuse for Chinese food (I mean… just go to Panda Express and save yourself some time). But we won’t lie there are some redeeming aspects to their offerings such as Tempura Calamari. I mean, who doesn’t love calamari, and it’s hard to fuck up. PF Changs make a tempura batter and fries squid in it. They did it and you can eat it. But it does not taste nearly as good as the concept of a person being able to maintain their decision to have an abortion if they want to. It’s almost like it’s a personal medical decision to make, just like whether you want to go PF Changs.
#4 – Miss Korea BBQ
This iconic KBBQ restaurant located in Koreatown, Manhattan is a local favorite. My go to is obviously the sliced, spicy pork belly. Don’t be afraid of getting non-bbq dishes too; their kimchi-jjigae is sure to warm you up from the inside out. But my number one favorite way of warming up myself inside out, that I’m sure many others would agree with, is the idea of getting an abortion through accessible means without feeling like my life is in danger! This warm feeling inside is not to be confused with the feeling of warmth after clearing an entire Soju flight from Miss Korea BBQ, which I would be able to do after getting an abortion without endangering the life of a child that I don’t want to have.
#3 – Peking Duck House
One of the most notable Chinese dishes is peking duck, and Peking Duck House in Chinatown does not shy away from that glory. Their ability to roast a duck to perfection is a skill only few can master. Their fresh cut cucumbers paired with the savory peking sauce makes a combination that feels like an epiphany. But despite this deliciousness, I can’t help but remember that I probably wouldn’t be able to afford having such incredible meals if I were struggling to support a child that I can’t care for nor desire to have in my life, which is not only a disservice to that child, me, and this restaurant that I can no longer patron in this hypothetical scenario that is also very plausible. It’s a good thing that I could still get an abortion right now if I needed to (thanks to Roe V. Wade) so that I can ensure I can afford and budget for this kick ass food on a regular basis.
#2 – Ashoka Indian Restaurant
I used to be a vegetarian, and Indian food was always one of my favorites, giving me such a huge selection of meat-free friendly dishes. To this day, it’s hard to stray from my favorite go-to Aloo Gobi Matar that combines potatoes, cauliflower, and peas, and by far, Ashoka has done it the best. It’s spiced to absolute perfection. It goes down so nicely with a bed of rice, which reminds me that not being able to have an abortion goes down so terribly with rice. And that’s absolutely crazy! Do you know how bad something has to be for it to be absolute shit with rice? Rice is like one of the only foods in the world that I would argue enhances everything at least a bit, but trust me when I say rice plus no abortion should be something left in the garbage!
#1 – Malii Thai Restaurant
One of my absolute favorite new restaurants that I’ve tried this year would have to Malii Thai. The service is exceptional, not to mention the exquisite quality of the food. Their intuitive menu layout provides a section for their must try foods, a great set of options for people like me who have a hard time making decisions. When I first went, I ordered Pad Seafood Yen Ta Fo and let me tell you when I say those flat rice noodles had the perfect texture, I am not kidding one bit! The sweet and sour sauce made me inhale the dish and want to order another to go so I can have it again tomorrow without trekking all the way uptown. These days I only go uptown to Malii Thai and to see my gynecologist who could administer an abortion for me if I needed to thanks to Roe V. Wade. It’s too bad that no matter how fantastic the food is at Malii Thai, that I would probably lose all interest and taste in food if I found out that I couldn’t get an absolutely necessary abortion. The cool thing too is that, just like Malii Thai, if I am having trouble making a decision about getting an abortion or any reproductive health inquiries, my provider can openly have the discussion with me without feeling like they’re vulnerable to lawsuits for discussing a perfectly safe and ethical procedure. It’s no wonder that pro-lifers or anti-abortion individuals get told to eat shit everyday.
