Lost Asian Man Begins Searching for Congregation of Toyota Siennas and Camrys

It’s not racial profiling if you’re looking for your family

October 20, 2021

LOS ANGELES 一 Local Asian man began searching for a mass congregation of Toyota Siennas and Camrys after becoming lost on his way to a family gathering, sources confirmed.

“I left my apartment a few minutes late because I wanted to show up at Desi Standard Time and I set my Google Maps to the destination,” said a panicked Rohit Mehta. “My phone took me to some combination Taco Bell KFC, which I guess is cool but it’s not where I wanted to be. I called my mom and my dad and they didn’t pick up so I decided to do this the old fashioned way. I put my car in drive, went 10 under the speed limit, and began scanning the horizon for a parking lot full of Toyotas,” said an increasingly desperate Mehta.

During his search for his destination, Mehta began tailing random civilians who just happened to own Toyota Siennas.

“I just pulled out of my neighborhood when I noticed this crazed man in a white Camry tailgating me. I’m trying to drop off my shithead kids at soccer practice and this guy behind me is stressing me out,” said worried mother of five Caryn Pierce. “I can handle driving while Braxton and Aiden fight over the last Oreo while Melissa cries about not wearing her favorite socks, but I go nuts the minute I get tailgated. When we got to the soccer field, I got out and tried to ask him what the fuck he was doing but he spotted another minivan and drove in pursuit,” said Pierce.

Reports of similar behavior have reached Toyota headquarters and engineers are hard at work coming up with a solution.

“It’s an interesting trend to see, more than half of all our vehicles are sold to Asian American families. We traced back our records and believe that every purchase can be traced back to our first Asian American customer, who subsequently recommended our brand to everyone he knew,” said Toyota lead engineer Brandon Fernandez. “As far as the problem at hand, we’re teaming up with Whatsapp to create a platform that biometrically scans a 100 mile radius for other Asians. If that doesn’t work then I don’t know what will!” said Fernandez.

At press time, an exhausted Mehta believed he had reached his destination, only to step out into a Toyota dealership.