Group of Friends at Dinner for Three Years Because No One Will Eat Last Piece of Scallion Pancake

Why are Chinese people like this?

January 3, 2021

QUEENS- What began as a normal family style dinner has escalated into a battle of politeness. Christine Wong invited four of her closest friends out to her favorite Chinese restaurant for her birthday. Everyone ordered way too much food, Tsingtao beer, and hot tea. When it came down to the last plate of scallion pancake, the war was on. Three years later, they are still there pushing the plate to each other offering the last piece of scallion pancake.

“They are really starting to scare me,” says the owner of the restaurant Larry Chen, “They haven’t ordered any more food, just bottomless rounds of Tsingtao and pushing around that one cold piece of scallion pancake, now looking quite disgusting. I don’t know how many times I have refilled their tea.”

Other friends of Christine say this isn’t the first time this group of friends has battled to see who is the most polite. Last year one friend was nearly killed for paying the bill for everyone.

“They wrestled over the receipt for about an hour,” says friend Mina Chao, “Things turned deadly when someone slipped on some spilled chili oil. We had no idea that Michael (the perpetrator) even had a license to carry.”

Chen, the owner, shared other instances of bizarre clientele, “My staff has had knives pulled on them when asked to drop off the check, and one server was strangled last week for simply walking by to check-in with the group. We had to put up No Touching signs on our staff to keep them safe.”

It’s unclear as to when this battle of politeness will end among Christine Wong and her friends, but management fears for the worst. “We’re getting a pest treatment done next week. We’re closing the whole place down and they’re going to fill it with toxic gas. We just hope they finally eat that last piece of scallion pancake before they all get themselves killed. For real this time”

Updated Dec. 29, 2020: Wong and all her friends were found deceased in the fumigation tent after the treatment was completed. An autopsy shows that all but one individual had suffered from multiple stab wounds. The authorities have declined to reveal more information.