What the Fuck? Man Who Ate All the Rice Out of His Bowl Still Suffering From Adult Acne
‘Your dog is going to have acne if you don’t eat every last grain out of that bowl’
By: Steven Yuen
September 13, 2021
Most Asian children are raised to go out their way to finish food, including the last few grains of rice in a bowl. Many people find this to be endearing and think that children want to ensure they are finishing every last bit of food and making a real effort to clear a plate so none of it goes to waste. In reality, the only thing these little shits care about is making sure that they and their future partners do not have acne when they age.
Asian Grandmas everywhere remind their grandchildren: ‘For every grain of rice you leave behind your future partner will have a spot of acne, maybe you’ll even end up having acne, hell, your dog is going to have acne if you don’t eat every last grain out of that bowl.’
Carter Lim, aged 34, diligently ate his rice as a child all through childhood to this very day. Wait, what the fuck, why is he suffering from adult acne?
Conventional knowledge would suggest that a good skincare routine, a lack of stress, and staying hydrated are all things that can be done to prevent acne. “What? Did Carter say he would eat all of his rice?” His irate grandmother asked, speaking through a translator, “In 1994 he said he had food poisoning and left two massive grains of rice around the rim of his bowl. If he didn’t waste those grains he would absolutely have perfect skin. It worked for me, for his grandfather, and his parents. The real issue is him not listening to me on top of not eating all of his rice”.
Lim is outright rejecting accusations that he doesn’t eat every last grain of rice from a bowl. Rejection of his grandmother’s firmly held recollection of the 1994 incident has begun to lead Lim into questioning other things his grandmother had said. “What if sitting too close to the TV doesn’t cause eye strain? What if Yeet Hay is a bunch of bullshit?” a concerned Lim questioned.
Melony, Lim’s cousin, has a somewhat similar opinion to their grandmother’s point that Lim’s actions are to blame for his acne issues that are plaguing him well into adulthood. “Look, Carter doesn’t wash his pillow cases unless his parents are coming over. I’m sure if he cleaned his bedding his acne would clear up overnight, you can even see stains on it”.
An embarrassed Lim was last seen quickly packing up laundry to bring to the laundromat, and a half full bowl of rice was found at the household upon a routine bowl inspection by Lim’s grandmother.
