Boy Sent Back To China Learns Invaluable Lesson—He Hates His Dad

Blood is thicker than oolong tea

By: Grant Yang

August 18, 2021

Two weeks after 16-year-old Liam Huang was shipped off to live with his aunt in Shanghai, he began to learn an invaluable lesson about family and culture that would change him forever—he hates his father. It all began on Liam’s 16th birthday when his parents sat him down at the kitchen table. “We got you a present, son,” said patriarch Robert Lixing Huang, acknowledging his son’s existence for the first time in 4 months, “you’re going back to China to live with my sister. Now go pack.”

Completely bewildered, Liam wondered what he did to deserve this punishment. Perhaps it was the C on his last chemistry test, or the weed he tried in Mike Hudson’s backyard. “There’s no way,” Liam thought anxiously to himself, “I burned the test before my parents could find it, and Dad still thinks the weed bag was some leftover oolong. Besides, there’s still weed in China, right? Crap what’s the word for weed in Mandarin?! 花 means flower… I wonder if that’s good enough.”

When he finally asked why he was being sent back, his dad responded, “Oh, you’re getting too expensive to raise. Car and health insurance every month? Much cheaper in China. Plus you’re getting fat.” Before he could even protest, Liam was shoved onto the next United flight to Shanghai with a week’s change of clothes and 45 clementines.

Settling into the small high-rise apartment with his Aunt Fei, Liam began to realize the vast cultural differences between China and the US. The Chinese valued work ethic, unity, community, and family while Americans valued creativity, individuality, diversity, and liberty. He also learned that in America, people were too focused on instant gratification while in China, weed was called 麻. But most importantly, Liam learned that in China, people valued filial piety and therefore he should have respect for his parents and elders. Meanwhile in America, his father was still a huge piece of shit.