BREAKING: Mom Texts With Thumbs Now

She also started using the skull emoji

By: Grant Yang

July 20, 2021

Visiting your parents for the weekend, you amble into the living room to find your mom holding her iPhone 6 with both hands. “What are you doing mom?” you ask skeptically, “Shouldn’t you be holding your flip case in one hand while only using the index finger on the other hand to type like normal?”

“I don’t know, one day I just started using both thumbs to type and it felt more natural,” she said, “also I’ve started using the skull emoji.”

Completely horrified, you snatch the phone from her hands and see a bunch of random letters typed out in the iMessage box. “Oh, I was retyping my keysmash because it didn’t look aesthetic enough fidsfjjsgdfsjidslsdf,” she responded, pronouncing every letter.

Frightened by the monster she’s become, you throw the phone on the ground and stomp on it until it’s no longer usable. “It’s for the best,” you reassure her, thinking that’s the end of it all. Two weeks later you find her storytime on TikTok.