China’s New 3-Child Policy Gives Couples 3 Attempts to Save Sad Marriage

It takes a village to raise a child, and it takes a child to remind parents they are failures.

July 7, 2021

In an attempt to raise the birth rate, China recently announced a three-Child policy giving couples three chances to rescue a doomed marriage. Though economists have found this will likely have no impact on China’s birth rate, it hopefully will lower the amount of times young couples will throw their marriage down the garbage disposal.

Men particularly support this new policy as it gives them extra time to ignore the possibility of actually critically thinking or expounding one drop of empathy to decipher what they did wrong with the first two children.

Father of two Mark Yang, is thrilled about the recent change. “I thought I was going to have to actually go to therapy or do the whole marriage counseling thing. But now that we can have another kid, maybe she’ll let me keep my Mahjong night with the guys.”

Other couples who were previously ‘parents of only two children’ are ecstatic with the opportunity to let out the third child hiding in the basement.