Impossible! Group of Gossiping Aunties Aren’t Talking Shit About You

Scientists say it’s more likely to be struck by literally a hundred bolts of lightning

May 16, 2021

By: Grant Yang

Popping out of your bedroom to snatch some braised pork belly from the potluck, you pass a group of aunties whispering, giggling, and giving you side-eye. Feeling insecure, you decide to forego the food and sulk back to your room, but one of the aunties calls out, “It’s okay, we weren’t talking about your muffin top.”

“Seriously?” you ask them incredulously, “I’ve never seen a group of aunties not talking shit before.”

“We would never gossip about you,” she responds, “you have a 4.0, your boyfriend is handsome and rich, and no one knows about your drinking problem. We may be aunties but we’re still respectful women that recognize a good child. Besides, we’re talking shit about your brother.” Grabbing a plate full of pork belly, you hastily sit down and start spilling the tea.

Photo courtesy of Travel Adventurer Blog