My Mom Just Lost 20 Pounds Could Someone Tell Her To Shut The Fuck Up About it Already?

‘Sweetie, do you want these pants? They don’t fit me anymore since I lost 20 pounds’

By: Julia Zhen

August 24, 2021

The pandemic has made people gain a lot of weight, so I guess my mom really didn’t get the memo on that. She’s been doing this thing called ‘eating low fat plain greek yogurt in the morning’ and ‘doing 45 minutes of cardio everyday.’ I’m not sure who she is trying to impress since my dad has not once mentioned the dramatic weight loss. But the worst part of it all is my mother’s incessant reminders that she has lost weight. 

“Sweetie, do you want these pants? They don’t fit me anymore since I lost 20 pounds”

“Jenny, can you do me a favor and order some shorts for me from Uniqlo? I think a small would fit me best since I lost 20 pounds”

“Oh no, I can’t eat these fries I lost 20 pounds so they don’t taste good anymore”

“My hair is growing longer now that I’ve lost 20 pounds”

“I need to make sure I go get that oil change since I’ve lost 20 pounds”

(to the dog) “I lost 20 pounds” 

So this is my final plea – I am begging, for anyone, to come into this house and tell my mom to shut the fuck up about it already.