Are You a Failure? Restart Your Resolutions This Lunar New Year

You are flawed and there is honestly very little you can do about it, sweetie. 

February 10, 2021

By: Steven Chen

It’s not often in life that we are given second chances. As February approaches, many people who have set New Year’s resolutions find themselves lost and at a point of failure yet again. Pull yourself together and seize the Lunar New Year. This Friday, February 12, 2021 you’ll have a brand new year to start back on your dumb little goals. 

Look, we get it. You gave up on dry January after the insurrection at the Capitol. Or you stress ate an entire party platter of wings by yourself because of a $500 bet you made on the KC Chiefs. The opportunity for a fresh start with the Lunar New Year is the perfect loophole that someone like you is looking for. 

The best part about using another culture’s new year to serve your own flaws, is that there are literally dozens of other culture’s that you can ‘borrow’ from. Once the Lunar New Year passes and you realize that you’ve failed at your goal of jogging 3 miles per day, you can restart again on Nyepi, the Balinese New Year. Or when you inevitably start ordering take out everyday instead of just one day a week like you told yourself, you’ll try again during the Iranian New Year or maybe even the Islamic New Year in August because you’re still holding out hope. 

Just face it. Some people are meant for greatness, and you are not. But if you really insist on giving it one more shot because you failed to quit smoking cigarettes, Rosh Hashanah will be just around the corner in September. Keep your chin up. 

If you find that you need to celebrate all the global New Year celebrations that you are evidently resetting your goals monthly, just remember, life is a marathon not a sprint. Chances are you will succeed at something at some point in your life. It might not be the thing that you actually want or need to accomplish like paying off your student loans or finally putting air in your tires, so be sure to start small and utilize those S.M.A.R.T goals. Let’s start with that stack of 9 dirty dishes in the floor of your bedroom, okay?