Immigrant Parents That Brought You To America Shocked That You Turned Out American

Was it something in the air or that he’s just always been like this his whole life?

November 28, 2022

By: Natalie Lin

Ms. Wang, 52, and Mr. Wang, 54, woke up on the morning of Oct. 30 to an earth-shattering realization. In their suburb with the racial demographic of an egg, yellow surrounded by white, the unimaginable had occurred to their son. Timothy Wang, 18, born and raised in America, turned out to be American. 

“I don’t know if it was something in the air or the fact that he’s just always been like this his whole life,” said Mr. Wang. “But I just got out of bed and thought to myself: oh no my son is a gwai lou.”

Ms. Wang sat next to her husband, nodding in agreement while dabbing tears from her eyes. “How could this have happened?” She asked. “There was one time I brought him back to Hong Kong when he was nine. From the week we were there he should’ve become fluent in Cantonese, found a local girlfriend, and memorized the map of the MTR. It’s like he’s not even trying.” 

The pair of immigrant parents, however, were most shocked to discover that their son’s first language was English. When they tried speaking to Timothy in Cantonese, they noticed his responses were limited to “ok lah” and sighs. The only words that Timothy seemed to understand were “sik fan” and “cha siu bao.”

When questioned about his parent’s bewilderment, Timothy was unfazed. “Don’t worry about them,” said the teen. “They do this at least once a month.”

The Wangs insist that they only came to America for the opportunity and did not expect the culture to actually rub off on their son. At the end of the interview, the pair of immigrant parents were seen watching Fox News while building out their Costco shopping list.