Americans Outraged Over Netherlands Loss in Qatar Can’t Identify All 3 Countries on Map

“Why don’t think they just come here and play some real football?”

December 5, 2022

By: Andal Paul

WASHINGTON, DC – Disappointed shouts were heard all across DC’s sports bars Saturday morning when the US soccer team lost to the Netherlands in the world cup quarterfinals. While the score was never really close, many Americans could be heard yelling profanity and shouting things like “they don’t even call it the proper name” and “the Netherlands isn’t a real country.”

When asked to unpack the latter statement, 23 year-old Jacob Reeves said, “Is that not the place from Peter Pan? How did they even qualify?” When told that he was probably thinking of ‘Neverland’ he responded with a simple, “whatever man” and knocked back a PBR.