“Indians Eating Food With Their Hands Is So Disgusting” Says Man Tongue Kissing His Labradoodle

“Burgers and chicken wings are different though”

August 31, 2022

By: Neel Bhakta

PHILADELPHIA – An affectionate pet owner and self-proclaimed foodie recently declared his disgust for Indians who eat with their hands, while simultaneously french kissing his dog.

“It’s so gross. How do they know their hands are clean? I know where my hands have been and I know that last time I washed them, and there’s no way in hell I’d eat with them.  It just seems unhygienic because of all the germs,” said Craig Gunderson, brushing his tongue against his dog’s. “There’s a reason God gave us silverware, and it’s so we can scratch our balls and eat without having to wash our hands. Burgers and chicken wings are different though, because they’re American food, which we all know is peak cuisine,” spoke Gunderson, emitting a rotting odor from his mouth.

A bystander observed Gunderson’s behavior and comments and came to defend their Indian culture.

“I can’t believe people are going to take advice from a guy who picks up his dog’s shit raw, with no protection. And then, he has the nerve to call matar paneer an indigestible mess,” said Anushka Chandra. “It’s one thing to insult my culture, but to hear it from a man who needs a bib to drink a mango lassi is pure ridiculousness,” said a rightfully enraged Chandra.

At press time, Gunderson was found eating the leftovers from his dog’s bowl.