FBI Gained Access to Mar-A-Lago by Wearing Female Body Inspector T-Shirt
Someone intentionally went to Florida!
August 11, 2022
By: K. Cheng
Earlier this week, FBI agents raided Trump’s Mar-a-Lago residence. This marks an unprecedented and rare occasion in which someone intentionally went to Florida.
Mar-a-Lago served as Trump’s home during his presidency while the White House served as his AirBnB. Unlike Trump’s ego, Mar-a-Lago is extremely secure. The property is loaded with Secret Service, probably one of those Ring camera things, and lots of dudes with clipboards. So how did the FBI manage to gain access? Besides well…a warrant.
Secret FBI agent known as “The Blowfish” cleverly disguised himself using the second most popular t-shirt of 2003: the one that says “Female Body Inspector.” The most popular one being the one that said, “Orgasm Donor.” Either shirt will get you into Trump’s inner circles. The Blowfish reportedly tricked the staff into allowing him into Trump’s inner quarters using an array of high fives, low fives, chest bumps, and dick slaps. He then logged on to the former president’s personal computer using high level hacking, correctly guessing the password is “password.” The Blowfish was able to collect most of the classified documents, but not all of them since the printer ran out of ink.
Prominent republicans have decried that the raids were unwarranted, even though again, there was a warrant. They go on to claim that such raids on a political figure are a threat to national security. But the Department of Homeland Security has indicated that the biggest threat remains the comeback of 2000s fashion such as lower back tattoos, blonde frosted tips, apple bottoms jeans, and boots with the fur.
