Community Bonding? People in COVID Testing Line Realize They Are Standing in Circle

If you’re in line for testing, stay in line!

By: Grant Yang

December 20, 2021

After waiting in line at the 42nd St CVS for 6 hours with no progress, customers suddenly realized that they were in fact standing in a large circle. The line wrapped around the block, completely bypassing the pharmacy and returning to the beginning like a snake eating its own tail. Once the news spread across the line through a long game of telephone, customers still refused to leave, standing their ground even firmer. “I’m not giving up this spot for anything!”  exclaimed self-declared neo-neo-liberal Mark Phillips, “the government is legally required to let me test once I’ve set foot in this line, and that’s what I’m going to do!”

Following another 8 hours of waiting, the customers started passing notes down the line and formulated a plan to stop the waiting. At exactly 9:00 am, every person took one step forward, rotating the circle by 2 feet. “Now we’re finally getting somewhere,” said Phillips smugly.