Adventurous White Boyfriend at Sushi Restaurant Tries the Chicken Tenders

It came with spicy mayo, though.

October 18, 2021

By: Grant Yang

RICHMOND, VA—Self-proclaimed “daredevil” Brayden Hart was recently dragged out to a sushi restaurant by his college sweetheart Vivian Zhao for their 5-year anniversary. While the couple normally travel around the world seeking their next thrill, Hart has yet to bring himself to eat anything as daring as a spicy tuna roll.

“Yeah, me and Viv go skydiving over Honolulu at least once a year. I just love adrenaline,” Hart related, “We land in shark-infested waters and just swim to shore hoping they don’t smell us. It’s awesome. But the thought of putting one of them raw in my mouth and swallowing? That’s gotta be dangerous or something. I would never put myself through that.”

When the waiter came to take their order, Zhao picked out the spicy salmon and unagi rolls while Hart flipped the menu over and focused on the kids’ section. “I’m feeling a little bold today,” Hart asserted, “I’ll take the General Ming’s chicken tenders.”

Zhao confronted her boyfriend about his picky habits, claiming he should order one of the sushi rolls. “My body is a temple. You people should know about that, Viv,” Hart said to his agnostic girlfriend, “I just can’t imagine putting something so unclean in me when I am trying to attain my physical peak right now. I mean, what kind of chemicals do they even put in ‘tuna sashimi’?! Chicken tenders are just so much more sanitary.”

After the food arrived, Zhao would not relent and admonished her boyfriend for embarrassing her in front of the waiter. Hart, however, just stood his ground. “Babe I’m really trying here. The waiter even put something in the mayo that made my mouth feel hot. How is that humane?”

“Babe, you literally put a lit charcoal in your mouth yesterday for a dare,” Zhao countered. Frustrated with his girlfriend’s nagging, Hart left and went to Outback to order an extra rare ribeye.