A Guide to Finding Your Spiritual Self at Home Because You Can’t Backpack Through Southeast Asia

Escape your flesh prison from the confines of your quarantine.

You grew up in a suburban home where you were spoon-fed Western ideals like “Roombas” and “pre-sliced bread.” All you’ve ever known was the soul-crushing monotony of the college to decent 9-5 pipeline. You did everything you could to cope: you captioned pictures “Wanderlust,” you bought a shirt that said “Nama-stay in bed,” you did yoga. But it was not enough.

Just as you were ready to backpack through Southeast Asia to find yourself, the COVID-19 pandemic locked your doors and trapped you in your flesh prison. You have never felt further away from enlightenment. But do not panic. As we all know, Southeast Asia is less a “place that literally, physically exists” and more a state of mind, body, and spirit. Here is a simple guide to recreating your Southeast Asian backpacking trip from the cozy confines of your own home.

Dress for the Occasion

The uniform of a backpacker, and therefore committed Buddhist acolyte, is simple: elephant pants, a wife beater, and flip flops. Don’t bother with buttons, zippers, or laces. The only thing you should be undoing is your attachment to material reality.

Set the Scene

It’s important to infuse your house with all the spiritual energy inherent in all of Southeast Asia! Instead of incense, use any of the following Yankee candles: Cranberry Chutney, Sun & Sand or Coconut Beach! If you are missing the spiritual energy so inherent to spiritual artifacts, don’t worry. Just buy a tapestry, sit under it, and draw attention to your breath as you slowly chant the ancient Buddhist prayer: “live, laugh, love.”

Temples Near You

While the unspoiled vestiges of ancient civilizations are unavailable to you, never forget that your body is a temple. Get to know it! Scrutinize it! Throw up the peace sign and take a picture with it! You will feel mind-body unity in no time.

Observe the Culture

Since you can’t be up close and personal, invading personal space and watching people live their normal lives with great fascination, try referring to real and authentic depictions of Southeast Asia! Miss Saigon, Eat Pray Love, and The Hangover Part II are all great picks!

If you still feel spiritually lost and unenlightened, do not be discouraged! It’s difficult. The Buddha had to give up, like, all of his stuff. And if you’re not sure you want to do this “enlightenment thing” forever, well, a storage unit is expensive! For now, just breathe and remember that Southeast Asia is all around you. It’s in pad thai! It’s in mango! It’s in the tears you shed when you eat something too spicy! Hold on to these simple truths and you will be there in no time.