Nike Celebrates Lunar New Year With Limited-Edition “Just Do It” Kimonos

“I thought kimonos were Chinese like sushi and Blackpink”

January 31, 2022

By: Grant Yang

In an attempt to appeal to its Asian consumers, Nike recently unveiled their latest line of Lunar-New-Year-inspired clothing: “Just Do It” Kimonos.

The kimonos are patterned red with gold accents, delicately handcrafted by skilled Vietnamese machines in Nike’s Ho Chi Minh City factory. The traditional garments are made with the company’s patented Dri-FIT polyester to wick away sweat, wrapped with a spandex obi emblazoned with Nike’s signature swoosh. Written across the skin-tight fabric covering the butt is “JUST DO IT” with a cartoon tiger baring its fangs.

“We’re really proud of our design,” said project leader Andrew Whiteman, “we paid such close attention and appreciation to traditional Asian culture that we even include with the kimono a pair of bamboo chopsticks to stick in your hair!” Whiteman then showed off the new advertisements for the kimonos, featuring three white women with fox eye makeup and henna tattoos.

Japanese customers were quick to point out that they don’t typically celebrate the Lunar New Year. When confronted with this error, Nike CEO John Donahoe replied, “Who said anything about Japan? I thought kimonos were Chinese like sushi and Blackpink. I should know, I exploit them.”

The new “Just Do It” Kimono will be available through sizes XXS to XS.