Gingerbread Families Evicted From Gingerbread Homes Due to Rising Rent

The gingerbread housing crisis is at an all-time sugar high

By: K. Cheng

December 15, 2021

The gingerbread housing crisis is at an all-time sugar high. In the city of Gumdrop Junction, many working-class cookies are being priced out of their gingerbread homes as wealthy gingerbread hipsters move in. Hans Frans Candycane, who’s normally a tough cookie, was on the verge of crumbling as he explained the effects of gingerfication on his once affordable neighborhood. “I was baked and raised here, but I just don’t have enough dough to live in Gumdrop Junction anymore. It feels like we got the shortbread end of the stick.”

McNutty Construction, a gingerbread housing developer, recently demolished several gingerbread homes in order to make room for gingerbread condos. Their representative, Chip McDrip, welcomed newcomers to the neighborhood on his Instagraham story: “We have some sweet amenities that you’re hungry for, including a milk pool or a frosty fitness center. We also have a rooftop terrace for all residents that includes bathrooms that a gingerbread man, or a gingerbread woman can use. The bathrooms are ginger neutral.”

But the new developments weren’t all sunshine and rainbow skittles. Expert economists warn though, that if gingerbread housing prices continue raisin, a collapse is eminent. Many lifelong residents were already on the brink of eviction due to inability to meet the spiked rent costs. Housing activist Mandy Macaroon stated, “It is perfectly possible that longtime residents and a new batch of residents can coexist. But there is a choco-lot of work to do. The situation is dire, and I won’t try to flour it up or sugar coat it. Our elected officials butter act soon, or we’ll all be burnt.”