How to Avoid Other Filipino Moms in H-Mart Because You Don’t Feel Like Being Compared Today

Insecurities are found in one’s mind and in the loud conversations between moms in the noodle aisle.

POV: your mom wants to make Dinuguan, and she needs a tub of pork blood, so to H-Mart you go. And you dread going with her because you ALWAYS run into at least one filipino mom who happens to be from the same village AND also happens to have a daughter who is the exact same age as you. UH OH! You better be in college with other accomplishments too! God forbid your mother has nothing to brag about when trying to one-up this random woman.

To avoid this whole self-esteem draining experience, here are some helpful tips:

Keep your mom out of the noodle aisle.

She said she only needs one thing, but you know we’ll be here for a while. Whatever, just stay clear of the noodle aisle because you’re bound to see another Filipino woman with a mop haircut and a Michael Kors bag comparing the price of two pancit noodle brands. Best to ask your mom what else she might need, and do a solo run.

Do your research

At this point, you know the chances of running into another Filipino mom at H-Mart near Christmas time is very high. Just research ‘What Filipino daughters should look like’ on Google (example below), and you will find a plethora of helpful personas to encompass and therefore avoid any criticism. (Basically look like her or don’t even bother going in.)

Hide behind strangers

Oh no they’re about to lock eyes near the bags of green beans! Quick, find the closest stranger and hide like your life depends on it. Unfortunately, if you are over 5’2’’, this tip is useless.

Opt to hide behind that one tall white guy with his Asian girlfriend in search of the overpriced Pocky

Hey, maybe there’s even a good space behind that big lobster tank in the fish area. Hope you’re not allergic!

Push comes to shove, Run

Yep, desperate times call for desperate measures. After the comment your Tiya Alma left under your Facebook profile pic about how “You look so healthy” (she means fat) your self-esteem can’t take another blow until at least after graduation. If you hear a “OO KAMUSTA KA-” shove her. Stiff arm that lady and run.

I hope those were some helpful tips. Just keep running, kid. To the car that is, can’t leave your mom at H-Mart; someone’s gotta be there to drive her home because she’ll be tired after standing for 3 hours while talking to that lady in the frozen section. Happy waiting, hope you brought your Switch.