Opinion

Meet the Empty Nesters Who Finally Removed the Plastic From Their Furniture 

‘No more asking who is making the fart noises. A fart is just a fart now’

August 2, 2022

By: Jess Kim

DECATUR, G.A. – Sunny and Harold Kim shocked the neighbors yesterday by carefully folding large plastic covers in their yard.

“It was the pure glee in the sunlight that caught my eye,” recalled one neighbor.

“Those covers were so reflective and clean, I almost swerved off the road!”

A source near to the Kim family confirmed that their 40 year old son, Little Bobby Kim, moved to a nearby apartment complex with his girlfriend last week.

Sunny recalls, “I forgot how soft the couch cushions really are. Now they don’t squeak when I sit down!”

Harold agrees. “No more asking who is making the fart noises. A fart is just a fart now.”

The couple lovingly run their hands over the chairs, the dining room table, and the barstools over unfaded fabric that seems fresh from the factory floor.

A breezy scent pervades the house. Sunny says the loss of the covers has actually brought the couple closer together. “Now Harold sits and watches my K-Drama’s with me, instead of pretending he’s reading the newspaper and just watching the reflection in the seat cover.”

Harold grins. “It’s amazing how good you feel when you aren’t sticking to your furniture any more! I feel like I’m in stealth mode, like Spiderman!”

The happy couple seems to have achieved peace, but when asked if they will consider getting a dog to keep them company, the Kim’s smiled politely and boiled some water for tea.

Little Bobby’s forty-first birthday party will be held in the home with one plastic-covered chair reserved for the birthday boy. His parents claim it is for the nostalgia.

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